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This Month’s Letter

Dear KRS,
I am in love with a man I have been seeing for a year and we are thinking about marriage. The problem is my insecurity. When we’re not together I worry about what he is doing and if he has lost interest and so on. But my "fantasy worries" disappears when we are together and everything is fine. How can I let go of my worry and just trust love? I don’t want to tell him about my insecurities because it might drive him away.
Insecure About Love

Dear Insecure,
Insecurities and jealousy will ruin a relationship sooner or later. Your insecurities may stem from childhood – for example, being abandoned in some way by your parents. Low self-esteem can create a ton of problems where there are none, or heighten small incidences because you are essentially looking at the world and your relationship through "insecure-colored-glasses." No matter how much your higher self knows everything is fine and that these are just "fantasy worries," your insecure inner child will react from old programming unless you make a conscious effort to change it. I suggest some counseling so you can come to better understand this side of your personality and eventually clear it out. If you just focus on trying to hide this from your boyfriend you will run into trouble because he will see it one day, if he is not already aware of it. Discuss it with him and tell him you intend to work on it. Honesty is so freeing and much appreciated by everyone. It will also relieve you of the stress of containing this secret.
KRS

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